I feel for you....saying no is much harder then yes...and while they may seem to hate you for it now, the day will come when they come to you and say thank you for caring enough to fight for me!! I had to be wicked witch at our home and had 3 unruly boys (now men) and they put me through hell but at least we all know I loved them enough to take the hard road, its easy to bury head in sand and turn away and let boys be boys, but its far more rewarding in the long run to say No, I love you too much to let you ruin your life...the day may come when the best thing is to turn head away and use tough love and let them pay the price, sounds like you are on right road! hang in there, it will get better!