July 29, 2008

Hello,
My name is Robert Alagna.
My profession is teaching.
I teach financial literacy, English as a Second Language, and gymnastics.
I coach financial literacy and gymnastics as well.
I am also an athlete, working out in gymnastics, playing basketball, and
being as physically active as I can regularly as I can.
At 56, I can still do front and back flips, and back handsprings for my
gym students.
I can still do a handstand everywhere I travel.

I am married, very much in love with my wife of 30 years, and have two
wonderful college age daughters.
I started this blog because I thought I should archive my PD so that
others may benefit somehow, someway from my fate.
What a waste to keep all to myself?

I am someone with PD.
My PD started noticeably 3 years ago when I turned 53 years old.
Actually, felt a dull electric shock through my right hand from 52 and
being right handed, using a computer mouse with my right hand jumping
around was quite irritating my 52nd year alive.
My PD started in my right hand.
3 later and my right is pretty tight and I can barely write my name on a
piece of paper...
A computer key board is getting laboriously difficult, and I find myself
confused and absent minded more and more, and day dreaming or staring
off is becoming more common.
I have days where my hand shakes considerably and I am totally flustered
and shakey all day.
And days where I almost forget my PD.
I am not taking any medicine at all, maybe 2 bufferines when I feel
really weirded out.
Exercise seems to help my symptoms.
I notice than I get muscle cramping whether I exercise or not.
My worst muscle cramping takes place in my inside leg muscle, both
sides, the illiopsoas muscle.
It is excruciating when it fires on and I have to get up and walk it off
to lose the cramping reactions.
Cramping usually occurs at night, when I am in bed.
My walk and gait have changed since last year.
This year both my big toes experience semi-numbness, left foot worse,
the left big toe muscles under the foot hurt to walk with from this year.
Since last year, my saliva flow has increased and the left side of the
lower back portion of my throat hurts like I have growth or something there.
My voice, throat functioning is diminishing and some days I have a hard
time talking.
I always have a hard time talking in a low, quiet voice now.

The only time now that I am not uncomfortable, anxious, flakey, shakey,
is when I sleep.
Last year I had very difficult emotional reactions and frequent
occurrences of what I call "dwelling on", others may call it "obsessing".
I would get negative thought in my mind and it would get worse.
It got the point where I could not sleep at night.
I would also have frequent nightmares.
This year I have learned and trained myself to choose my thoughts
deliberately.
It seems to be working.
Whenever I am excited, happy, sad, angry, my right hand becomes non stop
shakey.
I can not sit in a movie without sitting on my right hand.
I still can control my right hand and it has strength and power, but I
would say I have 80% of my potential now.
I do all my training, push ups, pull ups and other exercises normally
with the right hand, but small motor movements are increasingly more
exasperating and difficult.
Brushing teeth and shaving with my right hand is increasing difficult.
I am right handed but my left hand is becoming more and more dominant
with my right hand shutting down more and more.
I now reach for most things with my left hand and have to make a
conscious effort to direct work to my right hand.
I smile a lot less than before and have to make a conscious effort to smile.
My voice tone and voice output is less animated and I sound angry or not
happy most of the time now.
I have to make an active attempt to animate myself.
I feel myself slipping away daily into the PD Zombie.
It is a constant battle of my mind to stay in the game of life as more
of me wants to lie down and go to sleep as the days go on.
I don't like to use the word depressed.
I find that I am more often irritable and unpleasant with my dear wife.
I bump into things more and forget what I was going to talk about and do.

I also have a blood condition that broke out when I was 40 called
Macroglobulinemia.
A doctor at the time told me I had 10 years before it would go full
blown, or I would live out a normal life.
I passed the 10 year mark 6 years ago, and my Macroglobulinemia seems to
be under control.
But the 2 conditions Macroglobulinemia and PD are part of my equation.
It was quite a shock to find out 16 years ago.
Today I am grateful to have my life.
PD seems to have pushed down the Macroglobulinemia symptoms, though.
So, I am not sure to be grateful or what not.
However, my blood count has not changed since 16 years ago.
Knock on wood.

My life?
I am focused on helping my kids develop into strong, happy, functioning
adults, in charge of their own lives and able to care of their parents
when we get to the point in our lives where we can not help ourselves
anymore.
For now, I serve my wife and children.
My game is achieving financial freedom for my family and friends.
And I am busy trying to make as many memories with them as possible for
as long as can continue to function.
I am not bitter.
I am trying to focus on living well.
I am doing it one day, one step at a time.
I am grateful to know that I don't have forever to live, that I face the
odds.
I take it as a challenge to try and beat the odds.
I don't need to change the world anymore.
I do want very strongly, to make a difference in the lives of my wife
and children and be part of my brother's and sisters' families and lives.

Thank you for reading July 29 2008 entry.