Well, I just took it one last time. I feel fine by the way. But the Benefiber gives me lots of gas. I could probably light up Paris with the energy coming from my body.

Stop laughing.

I took it first with the rectal thermometer (all cleaned, bleached and sanitized) Orally, it says 99.2. So I gather that makes it 100.2 (that is, if this old mercury thermometer is actually working), and the pharmacist told me today, those things never die.

So now I'm sitting here with the brand new CVS Flexible probe thing, in my mouth, and waiting for it to beep.

I used it on Alan before. With a clean cover. I know how to use these because I used the B&D brand for years. Can't find that one so that's why I bought these.

This is my second of the day by the way.

Well, Alan just sat there with the stupid thing in his mouth and we waited, and we waited. We stopped waiting after 4 minutes. He took it out of his mouth and it said 95. He got disgusted and said "Take this thing back". I said 'but it's the second one". He said 'they are all cr*p".

I think he's right.

So now it's in my mouth for 1 minute. Let's wait and see what happens after 2 minutes.

I want it to get a GOOD READING OF MY TEMP.


lol lol lol lol

Oh, by the way, my forehead is cool. My arms are cool. I don't feel like i have a fever.

BUT WHAT THE HECK DO I KNOW.

I might have malaria with all these false readings.

I did call my doctor today but he had no openings.

What the heck was I supposed to say?

"Rectally I'm 100 sometimes, orally I'm 97".

I can just hear them laughing in that office.

98.9

Hellllllooooo 98.9 What does that mean with an oral Digital CVS thermometer

WITH A FEVER ALARM BUILT IN!!!

yup, it's got a fever alarm. It's supposed to give 5 rapid beeps when you have a fever.

I can't get this stupid thing to give me one beep.

So what do I do tomorrow when I bring it back and get my $7.99 back.

Do I go to another drugstore and by the B & D thingee.

I never had a problem with that one.

God, I hate thermometers.

I feel like buying the baby digital forehead one. At least it might work.

lol lol lol

OH MY GOD, I just took off the right tip where you separate the battery thingee. I can't get it back on. It won't click in. Now it's dead!!!

I KILLED MY THERMOMETER.

Doesn't matter, I hated it anyway!!!!