So I took my first xanax last night around 6ish. I felt VERY woosy and had what I call the 'hot tub feeling' like the feeling of going from really hot to colderish and your legs are all wobbly and you feel dehydrated and weak and dizzy. I didnt notice it right away cuz i was sitting on my bed with my laptop and i got up and almost lost my balance i was like 'woah i need to stand up' and i walked down the hall way and almost had to reach for the wall to stand up. Its like the feeling when your legs fall asleep and you cant stand on them well cuz theyre still tingly.

Its working better than the ativan I got when I was in the ER. The ativan stopped me from having panic attacks, but I had my pre-panix attack anxiety and racing thoughts and difficulty breathing, and instead of pre-panic for 15 mins, then a full panic attack, it was a 3-4 hour stretch of pre-panic and it was so awful I was BEGGING for a panic attack because the way I felt, a 25 min panic attack would be welcome relief compared to hours of anxiety waiting for a panic attack to end it that would never come. The ativan also made me VERY drowsy and I couldn't drive on it which made me even more anxious. With the xanax, I feel woosy/drowsy for like maybe 20-25 mins and then im fine. S I think the meds are helping, just the doctor isn't.

I slept till 1pm today. Mike asked me last night to call and wake him up ( i like doing it for some reason) and I called him tons of times, but his phone was on 'alarm only' by accident so he didnt get anything and I was worried because he needed to be up at 5:30a and out the door to be at the work site at 6:30....well I find out his mom woke up up at 6:30 (his usual wake up time). SO he was wicked late and I feel terrible but it wasnt my fault, and he didnt tell his mom when he needed to be up. I dont feel responsible I just feel bad that he was late.

I restarted a journal online. I used to use a site called Blurty (like livejournal) and I wrote in it anything and everything, and a few people I knew would read it and comment. I kinda want people from on here to comment on mine. I have it set to friends only so not everyone can read all my posts and I was hoping people here who were interested would like to read it and comment. If people aren't into the whole signing up for a username just to respond, then I could set it so everyone can read them and respond (it would come up anon so youd have to leave who you are)

If anyone is interested in following me along, please let me know. Theres a link to my journal in my signature. ( I hope you like the layout and stuff, I love designing them and the layout will probably change often cuz I love doing HTML) I would love to have comments from people who understand.