It might be interesting to look at the experience of the gay community and their struggle to get society to deal with AIDS. A place to begin is Wikipedia's entry on the book "And the Band Played On." One thing they learned is that being nice gets you a good eulogy.
Organizations exist first to perpetuate themselves. Allowing patients within the walls is not high on their list. This is doubly so when staff runs the show as is often the case.
Don't be afraid to embarrass someone so long as you are simultaneously praising someone else.
Here is a good site that rates non-profits-
http://www.charitynavigator.org/inde...search.results