Hi Laura,
I feel so bad that your daughter has the type of reaction she does! Is she in Kindergarten? My daughter is this year. I informed the principal of the situation when I met him during one of his "meet the prinicpal" monthly meetings(this is a year round school)that I started attending before school started. About two weeks before school, I called and asked to meet with the teacher. I was put off until I started trying to explain why. I later learned the key words are "I have a SPECIAL NEEDS child" to get things done.
The school nurse was notified along the the psychologist. I gave the nurse some web sites to educated herself before the meeting. I met with the nurse and teacher and we went through the classroom and talked about supplies. Fortunately, this teacher rarely gives out treats and is not focused on food stuff. I was kind of put off by the nurse seeming to give the impression that my child was now going to be cared for by the school district-like an ownership thing. I had to correct her misconception that it "only the glue stuff" the teacher had to worry about. I asked about the soap in the bathroom, the paper towels, paints, etc. I can go into the classroom to help anytime I want.
The nurse wrote up a plan of sorts for the district file. She said it's usually the older kids that would have an Indiviualized Education Plan or a 504 plan made.
The teacher informed all the other parents that if they want bring food for parties, etc. to give a three day notice. I had one considerate Mom ask before the track went off what candy my daughter could have in goody bags she was making to give out. I was very thankful for that but my daughter did receive a little pumpkin full of stuff that went right to the trash. She's been very good about accepting that but I felt bad when a student teacher gave out KitKat bars on her last day. She was watching everyone else get one and I could see her eyes getting red.
I've had one dissapointment so far that involved playdough. I bought a tub of GF clay from Discount School supply for the whole class to use. I boiled the teacher's existing dough toys and added some rolling pins and plastic pizza cutters to the new container I also bought. She said the tub would be enough for the class but my daughter came home and said another girl was using regular playdough with the toys. When I asked the teacher she said the girl was at another table and that she was going to clean the toys before using again. I had to explain tht you can't boil wood rolling pins or they'll splinter but it was just the fact that I had a huge label on the box that said to use only with the GF dough and that was ignored. Since her classroom is not totally organized I hid
the regular dough and am bringing in another tub($$$) broken up into ziploc bags so one kid won't grab a whole color to themselves.
If you are continuing to have trouble maybe you can look into the 504 plan to be written up. That way they should not be lazy in any way about it. I feel lucky to have a proactive prinicipal vs. the school my son is finishing up at(we moved but he didn't want to change schools and my DD could have gone there, too.) before high school. The nurse of my daughter's endocrinologist offered to make a 504 but I said I would see how it goes. I like the idea of a bracelet and considered it. Next year when she will be at school all day and has to go to the cafeteria to eat her lunch we are going to read Eating Gluten Free with Emily to her class and give ideas on how they can help her be safe in the cafeteria. They have a table for allergy kids but I think she will be OK.
The CSA site has some good forms for school officials though it seems like it's for a child just diagnosed:
http://csaceliacs.org/CelKidsSchool.php
Here's another site that has some nice bracelets:
http://www.laurenshope.com/childrens...-bracelets.asp
Someone had posted this site at the old BT and they had some really good wording for their child's bracelet-I wish I could remember what it was!