Thank you Debbie...I know I'm not alone. I know that's what the pain doctor is there for, but I don't want to be "labeled" as an addict or anything. I have a "fear" you see...back a while ago, I was "banned" from seeing my regular doc cuz he claimed I was "getting prescriptions from multiple doctors." I WAS NOT! I had moved about 60 miles away from him. I was attending PT at that time, and had asked the dr. at PT to TAKE OVER writing my prescriptions because he was more convenient since I was there 3-4 times a week. I had to have actual paper prescriptions, and it was too inconvenient to drive to 60 miles to pick it up from my family doctor so I just asked my PT doc to take over instead. Well, my family doc didn't bother to check and make sure the rx'd didn't CROSS DATES. Instead he just saw that someone else was writing them for me, and decided to ban me not only from his office, but from the entire hospital he works out of. So now, I'm a bit leary of asking too much.

Also...I have a new family doctor, who is the one who referred me to this pain doctor. I don't LIKE this family doctor, nor do I like the hospital he works out of (it's dirty, the care isn't that great, etc) but I don't feel like I can search out a new one because A). he's the ONLY DOCTOR in the 7 years I've been dealing with this that has EVER referred me to a pain doc (this should have been done years ago); B). he's the only one who has BELIEVED me; and C). he IS very caring. But I'd like a female doctor, and I'd like a doctor who works out of a better hospital. The office he works out of is pretty low class also...and he's an "intern" so he's really only in the office 1-2 days a week. So if I'm ever sick and need to get in right away, I can't see him anyway. So I am having some issue with my care . And all of this makes me afraid of asking hte pain doc for too much. I've already gone UP on the fentanyl patch, and gone UP on the BT meds, and changed meds quite a bit in the 5 months I've been seeing the pain doc...so I don't want to come across as an addict. I also write on the little sheet that I fill out every month that I'm doing better than I was when I first started going. And I WAS...until NOW.

I was reading about spread in the links in the RSD Library posted above, and it said the "average" spread time is 12.8 months. 12 months for me will be in December. Now, I know some people go YEARS before spread happens, so I'm not "putting ideas into my head" but it's a concern of mine. Right now I have a certain amount of "freedom" that I don't want to lose. And like you, my pain is "changing." It's constant now, whereas before it would come and go. And it's so INTENSE now. I mean, it was intense before, but maybe since it's so constant now, it seems so much more intense. And Im sure my mood doesn't help. I feel AWFUL that my SO has to do so much more around the house because I can't. I feel TERRIBLE that my son has to listen to me cry every night. I feel SICK about the fact that my family has to worry about me all the time.

I'm in such a funk right now. Maybe you and I can just crawl under a rock somewhere and just hide a while and maybe this monstr will leave us alone. LOL!

Can you please let me know what the doc says about the ketamine? I do hope you feel better soon

Hugs
LisaM