DM, you mention so many things I also felt and went through with my dad,

Idas, I am sorry you are feeling like this. It is very hard to handle all the emotions that are involved, I also had hard time with the morphine drip, I also realized later, it was good because it eased my dads pain. The reason you feel so helpless is because you care so much and want to help so much, comes with being a kind caring person. Honestly the feeling of not being able to do anything, I think clouds our judgment of ourselves. You are doing only what you can do, as are the docs, You are not alone, many of us who have lost a loved one that were close, went through all these feelings. Sometimes all you can do is hold that persons hand and let them know that someone caring is holding their hand and is by their side. Do not beat yourself up,