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Member
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Central Illinois
Posts: 287
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Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Central Illinois
Posts: 287
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Grom,
I understand about feeling frustrated because you can't do the things you used to do, yet can't seem to figure out what you CAN do to replace them. It's so hard to move forward, stop mourning the past, when the future seems so limited. But time and counseling HAS helped. Truthfully, I think having this case hanging over me so long really prevented me from letting go sooner, because without this settlement we would be financially ruined. Even harder to try to build a new life when you don't know if you will soon be losing everything!
If the stimulator works I plan to try tutoring children in reading at the local elementary school. The kids can hold the books! And it would get me back with children at least a few hours a week. One year I helped in the library, gluing date due slips into new books and checking books out for students. The schools can use volunteers for all types of things, as few or many hours as you can give. And if you're having a bad day or week, as a volunteer it's ok to call and tell them you won't be in.
Another possibility is auditing a college class, taking it for pleasure or learning, but not for credit, so you don't have to take the tests (and it's ok if you miss a few classes). Or, with books on tape, you could learn a new language, study a subject like Ancient Greece or Birdsongs in the Brazilian Rainforest or listen to the works of Edgar Allen Poe, the Compleat Shakespeare or Judith Krantz. 
If you can find a Feldenkreis instructor near you, that is something you should be able to do, it's very gentle and you will learn ways to move that give you less pain, I think it is beneficial.
But whether you can or choose to do any of these or you find other things to try, I hope you give yourself permission to NOT go along when hubby's family will be doing these activities you can no longer do. If you can only sit on the sidelines and this causes you to be miserable, and these folks don't understand and make you feel even worse, limit the times you are with them. You are probably going for dh's sake, and/or to get out of the house, but it sounds like it is no fun for you at all! Can dh drop you at a friend's instead, or can you make arrangements to do something else when he will be with his family (like have Law come see you?) If you go less often, you will probably be less unhappy when you do. Just some thoughts, Lord knows I've had my own struggles with this, and I know how lonely it can be there on the sidelines. 
best wishes and gentle hugs,
beth
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