Hi. I can really relate to you and the sadness and I know what a toll this takes on my mom. When this first happened to me I was almost ashamed of my pain and limits so I barley opened up to others. Now I do open up and though my friends don't understand and some family it helps to use my voice. My life is at a hault. I can't go to school or work and just sitting in somewhat comfort has become my new pleasure. I am working on finding some bright spot in my day and focusing on that and waiting for the harder times to pass.I wish I had more to offer to you. Just hang in there and try to find other things that you can do and get some enjoyment. Also "pretending" to not hurt or have issues I think can really take a huge toll which can add to pain in my eyes. You may want to think of slowly opening up to people.