I just had asked my own mother about the very same type of statement she said (are you a fly on my wall?
). She had told one our realtive's kids that suicide was " a very selfish thing to do".
When I asked her about it she finally said that those left behind after a suicide (or attempt) feel an overwhelming guilt at not being able to "see the signs" or to have done something that would stop the act or suicidal thoughts. Almost like (in her own words) that "...she needed to convince, or keep telling, herself that suicide is selfiish to make
herself feel better."
She later admitted that she couldn't understand what could bring someone to this very drastic measure as she had never been there. She said she thought she had reached the lowest of lows before and it scared to know that in fact there could be a lower depth of pain - and admitted it scared her that she may experience it herself. I found her to be completely honest and believe what she said may ring true for a lot of people who repeat that phrase of suicide being selfish.
I personall believe suicide is an ultimate final cry for relief from the hell of deepest pain and misery. I pray no one else ever has to feel that badly, as I once did.