Well, Sally, SOMEBODY's always needling these threads...
OK, I have a plan. I've had three people try to get the back on that sucker, and it just isn't happening. I COULD take a four year old $28 watch to a jeweler somewhere, or to Walmart (only an hour and a half drive each way).
But I think I'm going to set the back in place the best I can and superglue it. Then when the battery dies, I'll buy another watch. So there.