Or other more choice words? [Don't know about you, but I've got LOTS of 'em!]

It IS discouraging in many ways, but I suspect that you've sort of known it in your own mind for a while anyhow? Also, I'm gonna throw out a 'hated phrase' here...It could have been worse? I understand because I wake up every single day with the fear that it could be worse.

DO keep in mind that YOU have done all you could to help your body heal/recover and get better. Maybe the dice were already thrown as they say and just go with it?

All else I can urge you to do is look at your tests? Take a look at all the #'s that are just under or over the ideal norms. Sometimes you can find a subtle pattern there - I know I found such in regard to metabolic stuff and was able to beat the 'game' before it was an issue. I've had some blood abnormalities recently and I am 'teasing' all docs mercilessly that they never pay attention to a # unless it's got the *** after it! DUH?

I'll be here any time for you and I DO have this type of tee-shirt! Let's go make lemonade or something? special s to you for sure - j