Thank you both, I truly appreciate your ideas. Birthdays, Father's day etc have all been about him, days we celebrated him alone. But an anniversary is a bit different, I guess I am unsure if she wants to be reminded. As I have no idea what she would want-I guess the only way I can know, is to suck it up and ask her

My family is tight, and we have BBQ's / pot lucks every other weekend. It just happens that we are doing one on Saturday, their anniversary would have been Sunday. I was thinking of bringing yellow roses, with a card... not an anniversary card... but a thinking of you card. And also let her know if she wanted to be alone I fully understood, but if she wanted company I would be there. So hard *sigh

PS abbie, yellow roses were always my Dad's flower to give all his girls