Dear Friend,
You absolutely do not deserve this treatment.
The treatment has nothing to do with you. It is about them.
It seems that they have been doing this to you pretty much your whole life. That is super yucky.

You will be better without them eventually. It hurts now. It hurts a lot. But peace and love will come out the other side of this. It will.

You have to get on the phone with that Nurse Practitioner and tell her that you need better medications. She or someone in her office can help you better than any one here or in your family.

Call emergency services if you think that that is the best thing. They can evaluate you right away.

And yes, you are absolutely right. We need to hold on.
Keep holding on. We can do that.
Mari