im done. this is it.

someone make all this bullsnap stop. i cant handle it. i dont deserve it and i definately dont enjoy it.

all I see around me is selfishness. thats the only way i can describe it. everyone else is doing what you all suggest me ot do: worrying about themselves.

can someone please step away from their own lives for a second and help me worry about me?

almost daily, i go to my friend Lizzys house. she actually is really random as to the point i never really talked to her mike left and i needed to find friends. so i go to her house and its like group therapy almost. theres like 10-15 kids that go to her house all the time and just talk and they talk to her mom Sarah. Sarah has MS (unrelated to my story but it fits with the forum) sarah has 2 natural children, 2 adopted children with downes syndrome, 1 adopted who i dont know what he has, and 1 child she took in because he is gay and his parents refuse to let him live in their home because of it. and then a 20 something year old who lives there but i duno why (i know everything is crazy)

long story short, i go over there in search of someone to listen. it seems everything turns out to be about Lizzy (shes had some HELLA hard times but not to sound terrible but theyve been dragging it out and not taking a break from this whole situation not even for a second)

^see there i go, being selfish again. thinking HEY PEOPLE PUT YOUR PROBLEMS ON HOLD AND LISTEN TO MINE qehgqergqre

anyway. the girl who lives there for i duno why, got some new luggage and it came with tons of notebooks in it and she gave me one. im gonna TRY to write down whats wrong, kinda like a definitive how to guide on understanding whats going on, so instead of trying to explain everything, i can pass the book around, and then people can comment etc (kinda like my blurty but most of the people i hang with cant be bothered with the internet or anything) so ill have a diary, and have them respond i guess.

maybe thatll help. in directly helping while focusing on other stuff.

erg;qerhg;uqreg I dont even know.

not to mention i feel like everyone is taking advantage of me, its really sweet (i love sarcasm)


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my friend Christina said we could talk about stuff but it didnt end up happening.