i feel pathetic, i constantly refresh NT to see if theres anything new to read to try and keep me occupied. I dont understand.

thats it i dont understand but no one cares, or is willing to help me understand. i feel like im going to be physically sick and i just want to break down. i dont even know, i dont. and thats the worst part

Please just put me out of my misery and just TELL me what is going to happen. Its not in my hands, its in his. I just want to know.