Hi first some better news. Today was the first day in a year and half I went out for dinner to a fancy place and got lobster tails. Usually my pain level after 3 is so bad but today I had a turn around day where the earlier part was harder. Anyhow I got to spend the day still even though I pushed with my dad and he really lifted my spirits and it was very special.
As for therapy. I have been in therapy for 12 years on and off. I could write the book even they say. The issue is I don't always take the tools I have learned out of the box and use them so to speak. When I had my ed it took me 12 years almost to realize I knew what to do to recover but I had to do it and so I did. Now with the chronic pain and health issues I feel I can't just "will" myself well. When I feel better I am in a better mental mode. Like today in the morning I felt like hell and my attitude was in the pits but as I felt better through the day my mood went up. A huge frustration is I use my voice as I was taught and have followed the guidelines of treatment by not being my own doc but it gets me no where or actually behind.
I have made some goals though and am really going to try to do them
One stay in the day. My worring is out of control about the future
Not take my pain anger out on my family with spiteful words when they are trying to help
Be thankful for some things I do have like financial stuff because many here have major stresses there
Be more open to others suggestions
Push myself like I did today if able and try not to worry about the added pain tomorrow may or may not bring
You know reading my goals I think this would be a good post may be I will bring it up.
Hugs