Thank you sweet sweet Alffe
It IS a rollercoaster, and damn it... no one will stop the ride so I can get off
I think of your neighbor alot..
I think it is because her loss is fresh like mine, and I can't help but wonder how she is coping. Poor soul
All of us.........so true ... it "takes one, to know one".
You know, I was reading that cup analogy, and something just clicked with me. I have forgiven him, honest and truely. But, one can't help questioning why. He HAD survived melanoma, he HAD survived colon and stomach cancer.... he had survived 23 years in the military, been in two wars for Christ sakes!!
WHAT could be so damn bad to make him end it all, and on that day... just 3 hours before he was to go to the doctors........WTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"The Cup Analogy
There is a cup of water sitting on a table. It is so full, it is rounded at the top. One or two drops of water are added to the cup and it spills over. What caused the water to spill? We want to blame the last one or two drops, but in an empty cup it would not spill. It was not the water in the cup prior to the drops being added, because if left alone, it would not have spilled.
It was a combination of all the drops of water in the cup that came before and the last one or two drops that caused the water to spill.
In a person's life, the water in the cup is symbolic of all the hurt, pain, shame, humiliation, and loss not dealt with along the way. The last couple of drops symbolize the "trigger events", "the last straw",
the event or situation that preceded the final act of taking one's own life. Often we want to blame the trigger event, but this does not make sense to us. Like the water, these events all by them selves would not cause someone to end their life. It is the combination of everything in that person's life not dealt with and the last one or two things that caused our loved ones to lose hope.
Well there is light bulb moment! A big ol DUH! So obvious, yet! When in deep grief, sometimes you just can't see through the pain... to see it. I don't know how long this will satisfy me, but for today... it has helped. Again, thank you!!
~Nikki