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Magnate
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,871
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Magnate
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,871
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Try to sleep
Hi Meg,
I wish I had the answers or even the advice that would take away the hurt. I remember nights crying my heart out so bad over a broken heart and wishing I did not have to get out of bed and thinking I would never be happy.
I remember the best thing to get me back into reality and taking healing steps were words from my older daughter just a young girl then. She said Mommy please don't cry anymore, we love you and hurt to see you cry.
I knew no matter what the men in my life did to me, it was MY LIFE and I would not give them the power to mess me up. For a whole year I was menless and even distanced myself from my future husband.
I focused on my life and my children. I socialized with friends, did lots of family things. Started a new job, went through the police academy and grew up/out.
I found me. Not who I wanted to be, not who everyone expected me to be, but I was a Mom, daughter, friend......I was about 30 before I ever got it all together,.
I still have such difficult times, but I learned coping skills,. some from a great psych, some from being the oldest child and taking care of my parents and my daughter....
But everynight before I even say my prayers I think of one good thing that I am happy for.
Something that made me feel good that day.
I am a giving person and a lot of what makes me strong is whatever I give is given back many times over (I should try giving money)
But one night I remember meeting a sparrow and she was so kind, I was blessed for a new friend.
Try to sleep and let me take those worries and put them under my pillow tonight. I do my best thinking sleeping on it.
Almost 4 AM now, I have to close my eyes, but I will be feeling special for having a caring friend and one that so soon wil be in college. Even as a 50 yr old grandma I had a wonderful experiance and know you will too
Hugs 
di
PS I bought pencils for 10 cents, pens, some composition books, for Katie today, and few things for the after school program for the middle school I am in the planning stages of.
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Pocono area, PA
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