I got her into a new pain specialist who will keep her on her Methadone until they get her pain under control, put her on Lyrica and is going to set up her SCS trial so that is great news!

We tried Dragon Speak, but she can not speak clearly enough for the program to work right, hopefully if they can get her pain to a manageable she will be able to type and get on these forums to talk with other people with her condition.

Loretta – I would love to get information on your group; I think that would be great for the both us. We moved down here from Oregon about 3 years ago to try to get her better medical treatment, ironically, so it would be good for her to see people other than myself and her doctors. Her blood pressure usually sits a bit on the high side, but her doctors say it is normal with the amount of pain she is in. When they tried Clonidine out on her, it dropped it into the normal levels, but they pulled her off it when they switched her to the Methadone.

Lynns- I’m not even sure how to respond to that. I think you completely missed the objective of my post. If I intended to write this in the manner that you translated it, I would think that it WOULD need to be harsh. I would never let her kill herself, thus the part about removing anything in the house that she could use to do so.

In my 2nd post I stated that she was seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist and was doing well considering the circumstances. You stated that “Being a caretaker is difficult and can sometimes warp your point of view”, I completely agree. That is why I posted on here, to have some sort of a frame of reference on my “being selfish” by NOT considering her suicide as an option, to get a perspective of people that are going through what she is. I do not know what it feels like to go through what some of you do and will not discount her pain by pretending that I know how bad she is. If I was tied to a chair, covered with lighter fluid, lit on fire and was only given a misting bottle to help me put it out (that is how she describes it to me) and somebody told me that I was being selfish by wanting to die, personally I’d tell them to #%@& off.