Junior Member
|
|
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 95
|
|
Junior Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 95
|
i just want to die
Before i start this thread i have a question about tremors. I did acupucture, and hypnotherapy, and while i was doing this my eyes or veinson my fore head kept flicking , does anyone know what this is?
I am not writing this for people to feel sorry for me , actuuly i am using every bit of energy i have left on this thread.
I feel like i want to die, every day, every second, I just can't take it anymore.
I have been diaignosed with personality disorder, borderline A.D.D, depression. I have learning disablities , i think i have OCD, maybe a bit of scitzo, & body dismorfic. i think i may even have abit of autism. No disrespect but don't leave me a message and say i don't have these things if you only have alittle in site on it.
I am fixated on the brain, mental health, enviromental issues.
I don't know who i am , i don't know who i am , i don't know who i am AND IT DRIVES ME CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have a son out here that i have'nt seen in 3 years, due to my mental health,i think i am alor more mature, and less implussive than what i use to be. He is 6 years old. My mom has him . If it was'nt for hi i would DEFINATLEY be dead righ now
I don't trust anyone , i don't trust tthem becasue neurologiclly i don't know know whats going with me so how the hell is someone supose to help me.
I am trying to save $8000 to see Dr. Frank Lawlis , he's the neurologist from the Dr. Phil show. He has a clinic in Dallas Texas . Him and about 4-5 other doctors work with you . I am fixated on Dr. Phil and have been tyring toget on his show. I don' trust anyone but him, and don't try and incourage me to open up and trust other peopel cuzi can't. I have renting some rooms outin my home to save money to see him, but ever since i have been doing that for 8months now i can't seem to save because i have been spending it on toher things like hypnotherapy, clothes, entertainment puposes, acupucture, thing for my home ect. I am losing hope rapidley.
I have a very short intension spand so doing work or reading on the computer is very hard for me. I am adicted to pot, and can't stop for anything. I am not into the whole N/A thing . I can't talk to people that are too over obssesed with anything, weither it be n/a church whatever. Sorry but i don't want to hear 80% of your conversatio to do with god, god, god, N/a, N/A, N/A.
I get very dizzy, nausa( gaggy), and crazy racing thought when i try and push tthrough my fears or motivation. I won't take medication because i have heard way too may horror stories about it. I don't know whats true anymore so i just don't do anything. I have extrem short term memory . I'll writ more latter but i feel a break down about to happen.
|