(((Renee))) I am sorry you have to go through this. I have been where you are plus he was stalking me at home, out with friends, at work. I was getting calls from him at all hours of the night and I did set the boundries. He was to call only to talk to the girls. That was it.
After several employees saw him outside my work as well as times we had all gone out, they told me about it. When the flowers came, my boss (bless his heart) gave me the name of a lawyer friend of his. This lawyer sent the ex a letter delineating the boundaries the ex was to follow. This stopped him for a bit but then it got bad again. I had to trace phone numbers as the police requested and ultimately it was found he was not only calling me from work (this was pre-caller ID days) but that he was having others call as well. It was creepy.

Finally, the lawyer just explained that putting distance between us would be best. (Long story). So I packed up the girls, gave away all of my stuff and condo and moved 100 miles away.

Did it stop? Not really, at least for a while. So when I got the suicide note that he wrote to the kids, I did not allow him any visitation with the kids until my lawyer, the kids dr, and myself got a letter from his psychiatrist stating he was stable enough to visit with the kids. He did not like this at all but ever since then everything stopped.

So, definitely start setting boundaries. If he calls and starts talking about himself, tell him that at this point you will only discuss issues with the kids.

As for Olivia, counseling can really help her out. Additionally, the counselor can make recommendations regarding his visit and where she should stay and how long. The lawyer may need to be involved on that one but based on his unpredictability and mental state right now, they may request that Olivia spend the night with you.

Hang in there, sweetie. It will all work out and we are here to support you.