Thanks for the suggestion. I thought about asking my mom if I could borrow her laptop. The only thing is that I don't want to stand out in the class as being different. Nobody else in class has a laptop. I haven't revealed my health issues to anybody in class because I don't want it to jeopardize things down the road as far as being able to get a job at a hospital. I don't want to be discriminated against because of my health. I know that is not supposed to happen, but I am fairly confident that it does. At this point with the meds controlling things pretty well, it wouldn't be obvious to anyone that I am facing a possible PD diagnosis...unless they knew an awful lot about PD.

Today was a little challenging. We watched a video about Alzheimer's Disease and the devastation that it causes. The woman talked about going through a mourning process when she was diagnosed, knowing that she was facing a slow and gradual process that would eventually lead to her death. I remember feeling like that a little while back. I felt really down and was in a pretty dark place. Then, I developed a new attitude about my life and have been trying really hard to focus on the positive. In spite of that, I still have my moments. The rest of the time that I was watching the video, I had to try and swallow the golf ball that was in my throat...and try not to cry. I know that the video had an impact on all of us in class. The girl behind me spoke up and talked about also relating to the same statement that affected me. She told us that her grandfather was diagnosed with PD ten years ago and that he is so rigid now that he can hardly move and that he is suffering from PD dementia. It took all that I had not to get up and leave the classroom and have a good cry. I managed to hold it together until I got in the car, then I let it all out! I am not saying this because I want pity or anything. I am trying so very hard not to even think about what is going on in my own life with my own health. The reality is just that things like this are going to come up and I need to try not to personalize it. I am trying to focus on where I will be at the end of this program...working at a hospital. I will get through this!