Oh Mark, poor you.

Here are a couple of local Chinese remedies I've found effective, don't know whether the ingredients are available to you, but they work:

Cold fruit salad:
papaya or guava
2 tbs honey
grated fresh ginger, 2 inches of root
aniseed or liquorice to sprinkle on top, with juice of half a lemon or lime.

Hot fruit salad:
steamed rhubarb
2 prunes
4 chopped dates
1 scooped-out fresh fig
mix lightly with mint and 1 tbs honey.

Also, garlic is excellent, lots of it. Best way to take it is as roasted whole garlic bulbs, rubbed if possible with pork fat, fresh coriander and mint, roast in oven for 45 minutes. Tastes divine, the garlic goes gooey and caramelized, loses all sting and you can easily eat a whole bulb, no sweat.

Also, good measures of green olive oil/caster oil with everything - and in your case you might want to sprinkle some dynamite powder on everything too...

Best of luck!