Thanks everyone for the advice, I talked to him when he called again at bedtime and told him to quit calling me that he could call for the kids but that was it. While I agree that his constant mental anguish he causes me is abuse I do want to make it clear that myself and kids are not nor have ever been in danger he would never be physically abusive in fact he has a pathological avoidance of confrontation, thus why he leaves notes or emails or phone calls to deal with negative situations.

I think moi (my secret asian man) LOL- has a point while I DO love myself, it has been hard especially living with my parents where I have no support...all my mother does is yell at me and knock me down further (its always been that way) thats why I moved out so young...to get away from the negativity, she truly DOES mentally abuse me and always has, but she also totally and completely does not give a darn that I have MS in fact most of the time she says things like well what did you use as an excuse before you had MS? My ex however was always very supportive in that regard, so on days when I feel like poop and hear nothing but what a big lazy arsed faker I am from my mom it is easy to talk to him and let him be sympathetic.

My counselor is aware of course of all of these things and we are working on it the biggest step is just getting a job right now and moving out on my own again....I will be to exhausted and in pain to want to talk to anyone! LOL