I completely agree with you.

I have indeed tried to open up a dialogue (in Italian and in English). I was met with "But he's so smart, you should see him on the Playstation"!!!

Now how do you reply to an ignorant comment like that?

You don't.

The parents absolutely know what he has. I don't think they've explained to the Grandparents all the complexities of autism.

The grandparents only say "he's autistic". I know they don't know what that means, what it REALLY mean, I mean.

I have been there when he is banging on the walls and destroying the house and they start to sing to him to try and calm him down.

He has no communication skills whatsoever.

I don't know what he is being taught. Can a person be taught anything when they have no communication skills and they dont' verbalize?

I know other instances where they use behavior modication to get the kids to behave. Not the most nicest method I read about. Other people have told me what happens to their kids when they go to the special needs programs. They spray water in their faces when they misbehave.

But what else can they do?

The sad part is that he looks like a perfectly normal 16 year old boy. And he's absolutely gorgeous.

I once met the grandparents in the bank and they were walking out. I said Hi to the kid and he shook my hand. I never was so surprised in all my life.

It was like he was in "calm mode".

then to see him jumping around climbing on stuff and banging his head.

I think it's because he's frustrated and can't communicate.

What do you think would happen if one day I walk over to him and I do the binary code thing.

I heard that in severe autistic cases, their minds are like computers.

I picture myself looking at him and going 1 01 1 01, just to see if he would respond.

Let's just keep our fingers crossed that he has more "calm modes" than "acting out modes".

Melody