'A man of great courage'
Hundreds gather to honour Terry Gray
Posted By PATRICK KENNEDY WHIG-STANDARD SPORTS REPORTER



The crowd of mourners came from far and wide, jamming the spacious banquet hall at the Strathcona Paper Centre. Condolers occupied 450 chairs and were flanked by two lines of standees. At the back, more lamenters stood six deep while those unable to squeeze inside repaired to an outside patio outfitted with speakers.

"How many people in there?" rink employee Doug Gallagher is asked.

"Depends on who's asking," he replied warily. "Are you from the fire department?"

Assured the inquisitor was there to commiserate, not investigate, Gallagher came clean.

"We've probably got more people in there than we're supposed to have, but you have to understand this is a special night. We're honouring a true friend of the town."

That was as fitting a description of Terry Gray as any that made the rounds at last night's celebration of life.

Gray, 44, died last week, ending a courageous battle with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, a. k. a. Lou Gehrig's Disease.

"He played the game of life the same way he played sports, with great enthusiasm, splendid teamwork and always with an eye to communicating his love to all who knew him," Rev. Burry Wiseman of Trinity United Church told the large gathering.

Wiseman, a newcomer to Napanee, did not know Gray, but heard more than enough about him to realize here was someone special.

"He was undoubtedly a man of great courage, the way he held on and remained upbeat," the reverend told a reporter beforehand. "You can tell by the size of this crowd the amount of respect people held for Terry."

Gray was among the more popular and passionate sportsmen in Napanee history. Hunter, angler, athlete, raconteur, joker, definitive teammate. He played several sports and excelled at hockey and fastball, which he later coached with unrestrained joy.

"I have so many wonderful memories of Terry it's hard to single one out," said his father Karl, a bull-strong, squat farmer with fingers the size of cohiba cigars. "Many times I had wet eyes I was so proud of him."

Gray was a steady infielder on several blue-chip Napanee teams through the years. His clubs captured a number of provincial titles beginning with a 1974 squirt crown, the town's first Ontario championship since the old Micmac teams of the early '60s. His last provincial title as a player came in 1982, the same year right-winger Gray copped a U. S. national junior college hockey crown with Canton College.



Overall, TG, as he was known, appeared in a dozen national fast-pitch playdowns as a player or coach. His teams won two national pennants and was runnerup twice. In 1998, he was named top coach at the world championship tournament in Kansas, leading Napanee to a silver medal.

He coached the Ontario team to a gold medal at the 1989 Canada Summer Games in Saskatoon.

His last coaching stint was in 2005, months after he was diagnosed with ALS. He helped guide a Napanee Express peewee boys squad to the gold medal at the Eastern Canadians. By Christmas of that year, he was already in a wheelchair.

"I could sit around and mope about it, but what's the sense in that?" the amiable Gray told a Whig-Standard wag in 2005, publically disclosing his illness.

Earlier this month, Gray, replying to a friend's e-mail, summed up his dilemma. "I know my plan. I accept it and don't question it. But I don't like it."

Longtime friend Chuck Airhart said a visit from Gray often meant one's funny bone was about to be liberally massaged.

"No matter how your day was going, you knew once Terry pulled up to your door, you were going to be laughing about something."

Gray's forte was coaching and few expended more effort and energy.

"Coaching was a natural progression for him," said Bill Creighton. "He was a tremendous inspiration for younger players and had an ability to see strengths and weaknesses, then taught and coached accordingly."

A couple of years ago, he and the late Richard Dickson, two men with different, but ultimately terminal diseases, formed the Dickson/Gray Sports Association of Greater Napanee. It's mandate is three-fold: Scholarships, facility improvement and financial support for local teams.

Former Queen's Golden Gaels coach Chris MacDonald called Gray "the most selfless guy I've known.

"He's the poster guy for everything that's right about sports and what a role model should be like."

Last Friday, surrounded by family members at his parents home on Little Creek Road, Gray passed away quietly, ending a valiant four-year struggle with ALS

"He went so peacefully I didn't know he was gone," recalled his snow-haired mother, Donna. "He was right with us, telling us what to do right to the end."

It was, added Gray's only sibling, younger sister Kellianne, as if he was "getting everything in place."

His mother said she was exceedingly proud of her son's penchant for hard work and helping out where needed.

"He was an entrepreneur, always looking for different ways to make money," she pointed out, recalling the crayfish business her son opened at the ripe age of seven.

"One of the nicest things I'll remember is that he never once raised his voice to me. To any mother, that's comforting.

"He was my boy," she added. "He was conscientious, a hard worker and loyal. He wasn't perfect, but he was my boy."

He was, as the rink attendant noted, a true friend of the town.

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