I just saw him 5 minutes ago. He was going for a walk with his grandfather (who always has him by the hand.

The grandfather is 5 feet tall. The kid is over 6 feet tall. He was in "calm mode".

Last night I went over to the car when the mom picked him up. I said hi to the 16 year old. He just stares back at you with a blank stare. No response whatsoever. There is also an 11 year old (normal) sibling. I rumpled his head, he gave a good laugh. He is very calming and good for dealing with the 16 year old.

The mother NEVER wants to discuss anything about the 16 year old. It's her right and I respect her right to do this.

Nothing I can do but wait until my doorbell rings and they need help.

Hasn't happened yet (regarding the kid), but it ALWAYS happens regarding the computer, or the tv.

I once asked the grandmother in italian "What does he do all day in school?, and she said "Computer".

I've never ever seen him communicate with anyone in any way. He has never pointed, he has never verbalized, he has never responded. He has calm modes and out of control modes. (Don't know what else to call these).

And you never know when he is going to switch modes. I tried conversing with him when I first met him. I said "Hi how are you today, everything okay". The brother chimed in "he's having a good day".

The 16 year old looked right through me. No, that's not correct. He looked into my eyes but there was no reaction. It's like you WANT him to have a reaction, but he says nothing.

I would love to know what goes on inside that brain. Is he aware of his surroundings??

And when he has to go to the bathroom (does he KNOW what to do?).

Or does someone have to take him and do the rest.

God, all the perplexities of autism. And the various places on the spectrum.

I will NEVER forget one day when I took a bus ride and I heard a lovely young woman get up and give up her seat for an older person. I said to her "that was very nice of you". The minute she opened her mouth I knew she was autistic. Her voice was one octave higher than normal and her speech pattern (well I just knew). I sat next to her. I had a 20 minute ride.

She and I began a dialogue. I asked her "Where are you off to today?" She responded "Why, I'm going to my job at Popeyes". I said "wow, it's a holiday (I remember that part of the conversation). and she said "Well, people have to eat on holidays now don't they?" I laughed.

Then she said "People say I'm disabled, I don't consider myself disabled, do you?" and she turned to look at me.

I said "Honey, you are the most able person I have met in a long time". She said "why thank you".

I then said: "What have you been diagnosed with?" and she said in a loud clear voice: AUTISM.

I said "Wow, and you go to work, how awesome is that?" and she said:

"Oh, I've had lots of therapy from when I was younger (she must have been 21 or so). She said "I have been in life skills programs, and support groups, and now I have a job".

She was lovely, friendly and knew exactly what she was talking about.

I wished her well and I told her "I"m very proud of you". She just beamed.

I left her and I will never forget that beaming face as long as I live.

Same diagnosis ....MANY VARIATIONS.

Amazing!!

mel

Melody