Sorry for all your troubles, Joellelee.
As you can see, there are many folks here at NT who care about you. I'm glad you were able to post and hope you will receive strength, support and comfort.
I found your phone number and called, but got the machine. I left you a longish, rambling message -- the machine told me when I only had 30 seconds left, lOl!
Praying for you, friend. Be well.