Hey J~ I hope you know that I am speaking from my heart when I say that I know you've had so many trials to get through. Your family's health (your's included) along w/losing your dear Mother, have rocked your world.
I had a rough yr last year. You know that I also lost my dear Mother 3 1/2 wks after a CA dx. It literally pulled the rug out from under me. It's hard to lose a person you love so much. You have had so much to deal with and I hope that you know how much I care about you. (we all do here at NT)
Please know that I am praying for you and your family and sending hugs to you.