She gave me 12 pills to cut in half,and take it when I feel anxiety,and the pain. The pain in my chest from anxiety really concerns me. It hurt's on top of all the anxiety. I stopped drinking in 1981,and the pain developed some time after that.

I was sure that I was having a heart attack,but it turned out to be the anxiety. I don't know anyone else who has this anxiety symptom. It affects most of the middle,to the left side of my body,and goes to the left side of my back. I've worn out t shirts,and sweaters right in the middle of them from rubbing the pain. It's happening right now.

I tell my doctors,and my NP, but they just do not get it. I tell them the other symptoms,and I think that they can only take in part of it,and treat part of it. I tell them everything. Even when I was a teenager,and I had panic attacks,and I felt my throat squeezing in,though it was my imagination,the panic attack made it seem so real. I was playing around with a pea shooter straw,and the pea went backwards. I thought that the pea was still in my throat. This started a chain of panic attacks.

The doctors where of no help,and they didn't know what was going on. It was about 1965. I got over that phobia,and developed more,and more. The anxiety was bad,and the back of my neck shook some times. I had stiffness in the back of my neck in those days that would go up to the back of my ears,and a whole lot of bad sensations. I could go on,and on but you might remember some of these things when I wrote all this out when I first came to the forum.

People have never understood these anxiety manifestations that I have been trying to tell them for years. That's why I understand people who have problems who are not understood. I don't expect to be understood anymore. The road has been long,and the doctors have made to many mistakes. People don't understand,and I see them slowly back away. That's what my sister is doing. She doesn't understand it, and has become hostile. She has calmed down some though. I thought that my Dad understood,but he,and my sister must have talked,and they both turned away from me,and my dad talked very degrading to me on the phone recently.That's how he talked to me when I was growing up. I would think no.no.no. You don't understand dad. Then I realized he just didn't want to hear my problems anymore,and he cast me off,and out of his mind. My sister said one day,"Now you are affecting me!" I haven't tried to to anything to them. I guess my problems are too intense for them. I didn't expect them to decide to cast me away. This makes me hurt with rejection. I can't help this condition. I'm a nice person. I don't know whats going on. I am a moral,desent person with good conduct. I just don't know what to do. BF