Quote:
Originally Posted by megveg
ill answer this in parts:
would you tell us whats going on
i dont even know whats going on.
ive been hanging with dana, going to school, mike, but i still feel like im on the outside.
like... you know that feeling buildings get in the winter? that closed in warm feeling? kinda like being wrapped up in a warm blanket on a chilly day? well, i feel like everyone i see is at that point...i guess you could say it's overall Content. i am in no way content, and i feel like im reaching out to try to get to that point, like get on the 'inside' and everyone who is on the 'inside' looks at me like, whatre you doing? because theyre so used to being on the inside they dont understand what im going for, they assume ithey way things are for them is normal and that everyone else is fine.
have i been journalling
nope. i used to love to write but recently its felt extremely overwhelming to try and collect my thoughts and write them down. i really should get back to it, but with school and everything i dont have time...which in reality i Physically have time, but mentally my mind is always going so i cant focus on it.
How were your classes going this past week?
Classes are good, i feel kinda young compared to everyone because i AM the youngest one, theres people in my classes with their bachelors and masters and stuff. its overwhelming to feel so inexperienced 
Did you get your books?
yup, one is back ordered and i have to switch one cuz its the wrong edition, but i got them. my biology book is SOOO heavy. its starting to rip my bag so i have to carry it.
How are your folks doing?...being supportive?
my folks couldnt even be one bit less interested in what im doing or How im doing. i kinda fired my pdoc. i havent been in a while and i should. im still waiting for a therapist, but since i have no job anymore, i cant pay for co-pays and stuff. i need new clothes too but clearly thats not working out. on top of all that, i commute to school and i cant pay for gas.
ARe you getting some exercise...you talked about going to the center once you got your ID card....have you been able to go.
im getting my ID on monday, i have 3 hrs between classes so im gonna need something to do, once i get it, ill prob work out on mondays in between classes and tuesdays and thursdays after classes since im done so early.
How have you been eating?
normally i guess, i feel like ive been eating way more then i usually do but i dont know.
everyone around me is settled. except for maybe dana and his situation is making me feel overwhelmed. he doesnt know what he wants at all. wjhrvbwer
i cant even think like i just wanna cry and be hugged. but the people who i'd love to have hug me, are so confused with what they want, they dont have time to realize they can help someone else out.
things could be so simple. i like routine. i like systematic outlines of things, i dont like change. to be honest i hate change. i just want things to be the same every day over and over and if change has to happen, i wanna be in control of it.
i constantly feel like im supposed to be the person you see in movies, that packs up everything they own, and just heads out. like to somewhere...i feel like i need to go somewhere. montana, north dakota, the West, canada SOMEWHERE. get a job at a cute little side highway diner as a waitress just exist.
:sigh: x 894783 |
Hey there
I have'nt been able to add u because i don't know how, i have tried.
A couple things while it's in my head. One is i watched this week Dr. Oz and some brain show on Detroit public television. I don't know if you can get that. I felt like i was watching the same some as the other. They both were mentioning the same things. One is they said when your brain goes threw periods of not working as much( ex: out of school for the summer) than things start to detach . And you have a lot more mental health issues anxiety, depression. I notice it BIG time with me. No matter what book, doctor, television show , they all say before anything exercise is better before anything. On the brain show it actually said in china they did a study that a person on moderate Zoloft for 12 weeks had the same brain affect for i think depression and anxiety as a person that started exercising for 12 weeks. They said arobic and coordination exercises are the two best also. The 2nd thing both shows mention was that the 2nd best thing is high purity fish oil , 1-2 grams a day. I do want to check into that because i don't want it coming out of my pours or breath. lol
The other thing i wanted to mention is i have a short intention span so i can not read all of your threads and comments. But i have read some and , if i can give a suggestion. It sounds easier than it seems, but i think when your sick in tired of being sick in tired it will make so much more sense. The suggestion is maybe you do not want be fixated, or obsessed with your mental health, your a worrier like myself. Lol Like i told you i am in hypnotherapy now, and what i have learned so far is that i am obsessed with my mental health, i don't know if you are i just got the impression. I come on this site once a day if that, i only read one new thread, and i only get back to one person a day, some times two. I think this is the best site but just like facebook it can be addictive.
I am starting a thread in the first thread on mental health i think its called mental health condition or general mental health conditions. What its going to be about is this....I went and paid $800 to get a psychological assessment. I think it has a lot of great information. The problem is i am having a huge problem deciphering it. It's 21 pages , so Im asking everyone’s help on helping me with that. I will do a page and capitalize what i do not know. i think it would be great for you to take part in it, maybe you can relate to some things you never knew could be the problem. .
i read a book by Maria Striver ( Arnold Swartsanagger wife). It changed alot of negative ways i think. And it only took me 2 hours to read it. And its $16. I will get the name latter. She said the most important thing in the whole book, is to make sure you give yourself 10minutes a day to lay down relax and praise yourself, they say the morning is the best. You have these bad cells in your body, when you praise yourself , even if you don't believe it , it actually lets off good cells. It sounds stupid but it works. They say exercise, prayer, and healthy eating are the 3 things you need in our life. I am not religious but i am spiritual. She also mentioned automatic negative thought disorder, and how it is very easy to fix, every time this happens you put a good thought in, it takes a few weeks of CONSTANT reprogramming for it to work. For me i have a hard time of thinking of some good things to say so i come up with three a week and write them down. . Last week was " I’m perseverant, intelligent, and beautiful. I called myself dumb, a quitter, and ugly alot so those were my three words for that. This week is I'm creative ( i don't have much of an admagnation) Loving( i think I’m selfish sometimes, which i am not), and i am thoughtful ( because i speak to quick or do things before think of other peoples feelings). I think it may take a little longer for me, but it's been a week and i notice a difference.
So I’m blabbing so ya i really hope u join the discussion on my thread that will take about 2 hours before it's posted.
Hope what I said helps