Can you tell your friend how you feel and more on what you are going through? Also how she can help you? A friendship to me is about both of you and at some times one person needs more support then the other. I do feel if you can't be honest about how you feel with her then there is a huge issue and if she gets mad then there is also a huge issue. I can really relate to you because I have friends who suffer with addictions and yes I feel for them but sometimes they are so self absorbed that I lack support through an issue I can't control. Then I have similar feelings as you like they can will themself and I can't. I have lost friends due to this and it is hard but I would rather have two good friends then many cruddy ones. It only makes me feel more alone when I have a person in my life who treats me badly. I will say though others who are not in our situation can not read our minds so it is our job to tell them what we need or what is bothering us. I know that when this first happened I had a hard time opening up but now as I take more risks with that it has gotten easier. You are not a bad friend at all and all feelings you have are valid. Hang in there and you are not alone though I know it can feel that way sometimes.