For one thing you can remind them that the word IEP

Stands for Individualized Educational Plan, which means that every
students plan is written for him/her so if in the case of your son you believe
he need less/more homework, a different grading scale/say pass or fail,
instead of grades, or the 40, 20, 20, then this is something they need to
consider and then work out a compromise.
That isn't exactly a good example but I am not coming up with a better
one.

And in like the case of my son, but we need to remember he is not on
the diploma route. He gets things at his level, and lots of reduced homework,
also he does not do lots of the harder vocabulary and things that would
fustrate him and really ruin his school experience.
But he does get it in a listening form, he just doesn't have to write it.

Hopefully that makes sense, I don't want it to sound like he doesn't learn.

Donna