It seems like I have had so much drama, in my life, lately. I'm not a troll, really, trying to garner sympathy or controversy...Honest. Things usually go along, very uneventfully for me, for a long time and then wham the chit hits the fan.

Since my DH passed in 2004, I have lived alone with a lot of help from my, already overworked, breadwinner, and mother to Five, Daughter. A small bit of help from my SSons and two friends, who are there if I need them. I take care of myself and my home, for the most part, and am usually very content with the status quo.

I fell today, out of my scooter (it hit a wall and threw me out) and it really set me back...mentally not physically. Just a few bruises and aches, but nothing at all serious. However I am confused and frightened now. I got myself up and back on my scooter, after sitting for awhile to relax my muscles out of spazm and drag myself to a place where I could use my one good leg to lift myself up. I didn't cry, which is a good sign.

I am frightened now and I hate that feeling and the needy feeling. Giving up any independence has been a real mental fight with myself. I have no problem now, letting people do for me, what I absolutely can't do for myself anymore, but I can never see myself in a nursing home or completely dependent. If I can no longer call the shots in my life, then, to me, that's not living.

Does anyone here go through this fear, at times? Any suggestions on making it easier to stay the course...alone? My Daughter thinks I should buy a one floor condo, handicapped accessable. How do I even begin to look for such a place? Of course, it would have to be close to my Daughter.

I think I'm feeling a little more vulnerable the usual, because of my resent Dental fiasco and then the fall today. Any comments, suggestions?

Love and Hugs,