Hello, everyone, my names matty, i dont know if i am an alcoholic, as i only drink friday to sunday, then through the week im sobar, but then it all begins again on friday. I drink about 10 pints on fri, 15 to 20 sat, then anything i can on sunday to feel better (hair of dog). iv been doing this for about 7 years and im only 24

because of this i suffer from fits and panic attcks where i feel like theres a lump in my throat and i cant breath so i hyperventilate, i sometimes lie in my bed awake but i am paralysed and cant move, it only lasts for a about 30 seconds and i snap out of it. it very scary and i feel like im going to die,

i also get very strange thoughts, like for example, i could be sat at a bus stop and look at a man walking his dog, and i'd make up this big scene in my head, like ""hes going to start kicking his dog and then eating it, and then a cars going crash into him and everythings on fire"" - totally irrational thinking, im not a violent person, yet i get strange thoughts around violence and death and embarrasment, i told my mate and he thinks its creative, but i think its messed up,

my questions are:

1) am i an alcoholic despite the fact i drink 3 days a week?
2) have i probably perminantly damaged my head and mind (the way i think)over the last 7 years?
3) Am i actually going insane - with the wiered thoughts?
4) is there any hope to get rid of my uncontrolable wiered thoughts?


thanks for reading if anyone is out there,
Matty