Binge drinking, and this sounds more like you, is much more
damaging to the brain, than longer term lesser drinking. High concentrations of alcohol kill brain cells faster.

Some people who crave alcohol have a disorder called pyroluria.
This is a deficiency in Vitamin B6 (pyridoxine) and zinc.

It is genetic and causes alot of anxiety and panic feelings.

You can read about it more here:

http://www.drkaslow.com/html/pyroluria.html
http://www.diagnose-me.com/cond/C372380.html

It is amazing the high % of people who have this and are abusing alcohol as a self medication.

This is one lab doing the test:
http://www.kryptopyrrole.com/
It does not need a doctor's order.

There are other labs if you Google the subject.

If you test positive for this, you may be able to stop your craving for alcohol, and also decrease your anxiety and increase your chances for more normal functioning.

If you obtain an elevated response, I suggest you find a holistic doctor or a DAN doctor (Defeat Autism Now) to help guide you thru the supplement process safely.

Your use of alcohol is excessive, and you may find help with Alcoholics Anonymous. Some people do and some don't.

Good luck!