Jim, I too am sorry to hear that you have been mistreated by family and the doctor with whom you put your care with.

I am suppose to be writing and article for an upcoming org newsletter. The topic is living alone with PD. I started out the article commenting on how there are varying kinds of "living alone" and that all is not necessarily the true sense of living alone with no one in the home except the PWP.

I have PWP friends who tell me over and over that I may be lucky that I have no one in my home except me. It is a matter of perspective I suppose.

I hope Charlie has it tagged that is does get better...can get better for you. It saddens me over and over again when I hear of PWPs being mistreated and/or misunderstood by those who should be the most compassionate and empathetic to them.

My own situation is not similar, but I can identify with you or at least empathize with you. The difference is that my family has simply ignored my PD for these 20 years. I hear "why are you walking so oddly" or "mom, you are shaking today, why is that?" And I mean ignored in the truest sense of the word. It has left me feeling incredibly empty and lonely.

I very much can empathize with you. I too have times when I feel everyone would be better off if I just vanishing one day, but I continue to stick around. There is something or someone in your life who can become your "grounder." My grounding comes through the grandchildren in my life. They are what keeps me grounded to planet earth.

To echo rd: Think about your life and find that one person or thing (that dog you love, for example) and keep that in mind at all times.

If you are feeling so desperate that you see yourself hanging by extension cords in the garage, PLEASE don't do this. DO CALL someone....clergy...local mental health hotline...talk it out with someone. It does not have to be a family member. Sometimes a "stranger" can give more to you than you might think.

Also, please seek out a therapist in your community. I don't know where you live or I would give your some contact information.

You have more to live for than may be apparent to you.

PM me if you feel like chatting more and I will give you my email address.