Hi Dottie. I care for my husband and almost took on my mom this year when she had brain surgery. I have no doubt she has done the right thing for her by continuing to live on her own but mercy did I worry if I ended up caring for her and my hubby. I would do it in a minute, she is my mom but I also think her trying on her own is best. I knew if she came here she would be dependant on me and as long as she can do on her own, she should. Now she is happy to be on her own and all worked out.

Now, on to your situation. Number one, you know mom is going to live with you, that's a given. Your brother has me concerned in that he drinks everyday and that has to be hard on you. Maybe he's a happy drinker and it works out for you all. BUT, you are not a hotel. You need to stand up to mom and tell her you'd love to help her friend out but it's not possible with the house already booked.

As a caregiver you need to think about yourself. Do not feel guilty for saying no. Did you know that statistics are showing that caregivers ARE NOT outliving their loved ones? This is because we don't take care of ourselves like we should. Instead we are using all of our energies taking care of others and put our own health to the side. You cannot afford to do that to yourself.

Follow your head on this one Dottie. Sometimes out hearts cloud our better judgement and in the end we regret or become bitter. That is not good for you or your loved ones. Caregivers can get burn out and once that happens it's not good for either side.

My prayers go out to you. I don't know you personally and can only advise based on my experience as a caregiver. Like I said, if it's my mom or my hubby's mom, I'd take care of them in a minute if need be. No question about that. Jim's brother is a drinker and no way would he ever live with us. He's abusive though so that plays a big part in my decision about that.

Do what you think is best and God will see you through it. You are in control.