i had my massage today and it was a good one.
ran a few errands and now i'm home. i'm going down for a nap.

i slept terrible last nite. went to bed at normal hr but i couldn't get comfortable and had to get up. plus my (negative) voice (in my head) was doing a # on me. the same old tune. "you're worthless, you're terrible, you're ugly and unlovable", etc. i'm pretty good at combating it.

so i got up and watch some hurricane CNN, countered the voice and went to bed. this time i fell asleep and even slept a little late this am.

i've been a bit depressed too. i keep telling myself all the positive things i have to be thankful for. however, i still feel down. you'd think going to the radiation tx every day i'd be thankful it's there to help me. but somehow it serves as a daily reminder that i have cancer.

then my breast is swollen and red and it hurts. i'm also a little afraid of the next 5 wks as to how it'll hold up. so i know i need to stop this. however it holds up i'll deal with it. it'll be behind me. every zap makes me closer to cancer free.

i see my therapist tues and will talk to him.

oh, how nice. my friend just called. she's going to pick me up after my nap and we're going to dinner. italian. but, DM, no pizza