I am very happy to say that I am also enjoying some beautiful weather here in Cheney, WA. I have only lived here for three years, but usually the weather is much cooler by this time. I think that we are going to have some temperatures in the upper eighties later in the week. That just thrills me!

I have had a lot going on this past week. I started the clinical portion of my CNA program last Monday. It was very emotional and by Wednesday I had a complete breakdown at the end of the day. I just cried and cried and I felt like I couldn't go back and finish the program. It is so hard to watch people decline in their ability to function and not be able to complete the basic tasks of daily living. As much as I try not to picture myself in their shoes someday...I have had a hard time avoiding such thoughts. I have also found the uncaring, lackadaisical attitudes of some of the other caregivers to be very upsetting. The majority of people just get in, get done with what they need to do and get out....along the way corners get cut. I don't like that. I am slower than others, but I do things the way that they are supposed to be done and I feel good about what I have done for the resident. I'm not sure how well that is going to fly as the number of residents that I care for increases, considering the limited amount of time available. Long story short, I have decided to continue on and finish the last week of my clinical experience. I have one week left and I can't quit now. I am trying to look at things differently. I am going to focus on providing the best quality care that I can provide to the residents that I take care of while I am there. I have done that to the best of my ability under the time constraints that I have. Every day when I walk into a residents room, I know that just by being there and meeting their needs, I brighten their day. By the time that I leave their rooms, they have laughed or chuckled at least once.

I am considering the possibility of becoming a home health CNA. I think it would allow me to develop a closer relationship with the people that I care for and provide a higher level of quality care. For those of you that pray, please keep me in your prayers this week. Pray that the Lord will keep me strong both physically and emotionally. This is both hard on my body and my mind. Pray that I will be a blessing to the people that I take care of. More than anything else, I want to send the message that I care about all of their needs, not just the physical ones. Pray that the Lord will open a door for employment for me. Our finances are tight right now, so it is important that I find a job as soon as possible. In my heart, I feel it is most important to wind up working in the right place and for the right person...even if it takes a little bit longer. I just want the Lord to lead me into the right situation...so pray that I am open to it and that I feel good about it when the situation arises.

Obviously, there has been a lot on my mind lately. I have had a hard time sleeping well and have generally felt sad a lot of the time. Even when I try to be happy...it's a real stretch. I hope that once things settle down a bit, things will get back to normal...whatever that is. A friend of mine jokes with me that NORMAL is just a setting on the washing machine. I think she just may be onto something!

I hope that you all have a great week ahead.