My sweet sis....
When those si thoughts come i've found ice to be a great distraction.
You are NOT weak because you have those thoughts... those of us who USE to self injure are tempted to go back to what USE to work... I'm so proud of you for resisting the urge... i know first hand how difficult it is. honestly i've been there myself very recently...Hold tight to what you know is true.... and that is we love you very much....