((((((((((((((((((Megs))))))))))))))))

Tears are falling as I have just finished reading your post. I am so sorry. I know exactly how you feel. I have lost both parents but it was my Mom that I was so close with. There are days that I don't think I can go on without her. To feel her arms around me and giving me one of her big bear hugs would mean so much. Death is so final. There's no more picking up the phone, just to say Hi, or stopping by to have lunch together. My Mom was my best friend. We went shopping together all the time and laughed at each others jokes. I held her hand when she took her last breath. When the guys from the funeral home came to take her away, I kept holding on to her and hugging her, afraid to let go. Finally, the hospice lady pulled me away. After that, weeks went by and I was in a daze. I couldn't concentrate on anything as my mind was always on Mom. It has been four years now and things are a little better, so I guess what they say about time heals all is true. And, I will always remember what she said to me before she passed. She said "miss me but don't mourn for me." I just haven't learned how to do that yet.
So, I don't know if this has helped at all, other than to let you know that there are others out here that feel your pain and know what you are going through. Just remember, your Dad will always live in your heart and is just a memory away.
Know that I care,
Linda