I am sitting here in tears...............certian parts of that just hit home with me like ohhh say a mack truck hitting me..........

Today I can hardly hold a cig and picking up my coffe with my right hand was NOT going to happen....(usually its my left side outta whack) is it just a morning thing today? will it still be here this evening or in the morning? who knows....its the suprise game of our lives......

Cant pee this am....on 2nd cup of coffee.....when will it hit me to go? on the drive to work? while on the phone with a client, on a condo tour????who knows?????

I have choosen to include my DH as my only friend. I cannot manage to keep others happy and HE knows me inside and out...and loves me anyway.....he never gets mad about my emotions....or "lack" of them....(I have more trouble with that one)
He just stands by...lets me do my thing, takes my hand,tells me he loves me and we go on....ONE DAY AT A TIME.....
This recent trip gave us both alot of time to "talk" and to think.....
and we are making some changes in our lives for the better....

Other then my DD at home and 2 sons, and the communication I get online and at work...I have pretty much shut myself off from the rest of the world. I dont have time and energy to deal with others....I know that sounds HEARTLESS but I look at it like this....

I only have a certian amount of energy, love (that emotion thing) and understanding and coping tools to get me through a day at a time....MY KIDS AND HUSBAND DESERVE THAT BEST PART OF ME...
everything else, everyone else are just grains of salt.....

Does that make me a heartless B-word? Does anyone else understand that?
When quility of life gives me limits....I choose Tim and the kids......they are the ones who will be there in the end...I wanna be there for them now in the begenning!

Sorry Frank I guess I should have posted my own thread not run over yours.....)

THE POEM IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU FOR SHARING IT WITH US (ME)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!