Hmm yeah - the need of help is really hard to cope with, I think. Today I had to take my kid to school (usually his dad do this), pick him up, go to the hospital (eye check because of Sjögrens and some medicin, that can affect the eyes) and then take my son to sport. It was just too much - luckily my mum came and picked us up with her car. She bought stuff for dinner, cooked etc. while I just collapsed. When she woke me up everything was ready on the table.

I can't go shopping clothes on my own anymore - because of my lupus I can't be outside, so no window looking for me. I can only go to malls, but the nearest one is 20-30 min. away (walk, train, walk), and when I get there, I'm to exhausted to walk anymore, and I just don't know how to get home. So even though I'm 33, my mum has to take me. Ofc. it's nice that you have parents willing to help you out, but it's also frustrating, when you have a family of your own, and feel that you should be the one helping your not-so-young-anymore mum.

I just wish I could go back to my old self: Go to the beach in the summer time, run if I want to, walk a long walk in the forest, clean the apartment when I feel it needs to, instead of doing a tiny bit when I'm able - just being my old independent self again. But it's no use dreaming I guess. What do you all do to not let thoughts like this depress you?