I'm so sorry.

My brother-in-law lost his 16 year old grandson to suicide last week, so I can well understand some of the emotions that you're going through.

Please follow the link that Chemar gave you, and come over to the Survivors of Suicide Forum. That's the forum where others in the same position as ourselves get together to support each other.

Earth Angel, please don't blame yourself. From what you wrote I believe you were a loving daughter, and I daresay your mother would have been very proud of you.