I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your Mom. I wish I could reach through
this computer, hold onto you and tell you, this isn’t your fault!! If I could
encourage you to do one thing it would be to keep talking about your feelings.
Everything you are feeling, have felt and will feel, you need to share so you
aren't consumed in your pain. Talk with your doctors as well, there is no shame,
in fact it takes great strength to ask for help.
I know how profoundly you are hurting. The whys and what if’s that haunt you.
I know because my Dad took his life in March of this year. I am still in horrific
daily pain. I will never recover wholly from this loss. Please do not be so hard
on yourself, it has been such a short time, you most certainly can not
be expected to "handle your emotions" It has been 6 months for my family,
and the healing is just starting for us.
I have lost many I loved, I lost my only baby, my husband is now dying....
but nothing has compared to the grief of my Dad's suicide. Until you experience it,
you just can't understand the full impact it has on the "survivors" left behind.
As other have suggested, please consider coming to join us in the SOS forum.
There you will meet others who have survived this loss. SOS has been a Godsend
to me. I don't think I could have survived without their love and unconditional support.
Let us try to help you. Hold your hand while you go through this difficult journey.
My thoughts and prayers are with you
Nikki
please see this link in the sos forum Chemar started for you
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread54651.html