I have had the flu/cough/cold/virus something for the last month and a half. Just can't quite shake it. Bleh. No motivation. And I think it is making me depressed. Really in negative mode. (Kinda why I don't post. It's hard to stay positive and supportive and you all need happy things in your lives. )

Wes went over the top manic for a few weeks. Did the whole song and dance in front of the pdoc last week so he put him on Lamical. Instant steady and rock solid. With one frigging dose. It never ceases to amaze me how increadibly chemically sensitive he is. We are putting him back on home and hospital for school. It's such a huge trigger to even be there that he can't function. So, back to home school.

Con is doing well. He got the brunt of his brothers mania the other night. Big brother attacked him and they got into a physical struggle. And he didn't want to tell cause he thought we'd send Wes away again. Oh man, that hurt. He'd rather take the abuse and be afraid than to loose his brother? OMG. Told him he had the right to be safe and feel safe in his own house no matter what. He cried for a few hours.

I long for boring, uneventful days and steady, healthy family time. Yesterday was wonderful. It had moments of deep saddness that I shared with my friends regarding the loss of their father, but it felt good to let them just talk and cry while I listened. I can't do much to help, but I can listen. Took Wes to get his tounge peirced. It was so nice to be able to talk and joke and laugh with him. I have missed him this last month.

His father is a butt though. So much drama. So my husband said he isn't allowed in our house until he can talk to me like a grown up and without being abusive. The kids told him so yesterday. He was mad but the boys explained they agree with the new rule.

I ache for all of you anguish this past month. I lurk. I check in to see if Waves made it on through dial up hell for a minute. To see if Morgy is still moving. To see if bizi is feeling better. To hear if Mari has gotten settled into the new appartment. To hear of the events that unfold for Nikko and boxer and all of you. I could go on and on.. but I care for each one of you.

As I have said before, I feel the need to let everyone in my life know how much I love them. It is very intense since my friends father died. So....

I love you all so very much.