Hi, and thanks. I just have this strong feeling/intution that he is going to kill me eventually.

Since once he knows he is looking at a trial, not to even mention jail. He will go into a rage. He will feel that he has nothing left, and there is no way he could get out of it, his life is ruined and it's all my fault. He has no regard for the law, and that point it will then trigger his emotions on me, because he feels it is my fault, and I need to be get rid of.

I know him, I know how he thinks, how he acts, what he does, and I know it's coming in someway, shape or form. I bought small alarms with pierceing sounds for the door, but he could just break the window on the front door. I don't even know how to put them up. LOL The slider's well, they lock 2 different ways, so that might be difficult. Then who's to say it will happen at my house, it could be anywhere, which would give him more time to get away, and get me when least expected.

I bought a chain lock but that won't stop anyone. I have a protection of order, a piece of paper, but it's who gets to who first, if I get to 911 first.

This has been a long time coming, and it's coming. I am not being dramatic here, it's inside me, I feel it, I know it, I feel the hatered in the court room.

I am as about as prepared as I can be. Forget me moving, I can't do it finacially, no way. I can't go to a safe house after Thursday's hearing to determine the trial date, cause I have to take care of my mom and my pets.

So,this is where I am at. He has strangled me, threw me up against walls, back East, etc.
And you all know what happened here, with the bottle to my head and my head hitting the cement, and being dragged out of the pool, then my leg bleeding.

I live in fear, but now I am just getting ready as much as I can. As they say never let them get you in the kitchen or bathroom.

This is unreal to many, but very real to people who are victims of abusers.

Hugs, Nikko